Quote Authors List

Golden Quotations

Quintessential Quotations

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

Bob Monkhouse

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.

George Muncaster

Americans always do the right thing, after exhausting all other alternatives.

Winston Churchill

Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.

Author Unknown

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Author Unknown

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Bill Vaughan

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Robert Frost

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.

Clive Staples Lewis

There is nothing in the world that can give man a sense of the infinite like human stupidity.

Unknown Author

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Unknown Author

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Unknown Author

Baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Unknown Author

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

Unknown Author

Memorable Quotes

A day without sunshine is like night.

Unknown Author

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Erma Bombeck

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

Unknown Author

A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Unknown Author

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Noelie Altito

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.

Paul Getty

A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

Unknown Author

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

Rita Rudner

One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool.

Edgar Watson Howe

Quotes cards

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein

A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead.

Stan Laurel

I was so poor growing up, if I wasn't a boy I'd have nothing to play with.

Rodney Dangerfield

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.k

Unknown Author

Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools.

Napoleon Bonaparte

In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.

Miguel de Cervantes
When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself.
We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.
I think the only advice I can give you on how to live your life well is, first off, remember… it’s not the things we do in life that we regret on our deathbed, it is the things we do not.
The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write something worth reading or do things worth the writing

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