Quote Authors List

Golden Quotations

Humourous Quotations

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Oscar Wilde

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

Clint Eastwood

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Franklin P. Jones

The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns.

Herman Wouk

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Mark Twain

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

The Duchess of Windsor

The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.

Erma Bombeck

Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.

Al Capp

The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.

Tom Clancy

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

Henry L. Mencken

Common sense is not so common.


Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Steven Wright

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Wendell Johnson

Memorable Quotes

Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again.

Mark Twain

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Napoleon Bonaparte

You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Al Capone

An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from but not enough to lend to.

Ambrose Pierce

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

Bob Monkhouse

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?

Jean Cocturan

A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.

Mark Twain

Golf is a game in which you yell "Fore," shoot six, and write down five.

Paul Harvey

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.

Woody Allen

Quotes cards

Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

Fred Hoyle

They told me that Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right.

Winston Churchill

To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

E. Wilson

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Dorothy Parker

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.

Salvador Dali

Critics are to authors what dogs are to lamp-posts.

Jeffrey Robinson
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Famous Quotes

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