Quote Authors List

Golden Quotations

LightHearted Quotations

If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter.

Albert Grant

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

Ronald Knox

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.

Colin Chapman

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Charles Lamb

Rembrandt painted 700 pictures. Of these, 3,000 are still in existence.

Wilhelm Bode

When you've got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow.

Fern Naito

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

Leonardo Di Vinci

Money is something you have to make in case you don't die.

Max Asnas

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Terry Pratchett

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to a strip club and watches the audience.

Merv Stockwood

Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.

Al Capp

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Rowan Atkinson

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Steven Wright

Memorable Quotes

If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.

John Wayne

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

Rodney Dangerfield

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

Samuel Goldwyn

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.

Samuel Butler

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Sue Murphy

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.

Daniel J. Boorstin

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Dave Edison

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Emo Philips

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

John Lubbock

Quotes cards

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Oscar Wilde

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Herm Albright

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

Thich Nhat Hanh

ollow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.

Joseph Campbell

If you're billed as a comedian, people will accept anything you say as light-hearted and not with intent behind it.

Megan Fox

The future doesn't belong to the light-hearted. It belongs to the brave.

Ronald Reagan
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
Intuition is a powerful tool that can heal the painful split we all feel between our earthly, mundane selves and our divine, eternal selves. When we realize that our spiritual knowledge is in us right now, and always has been, we become filled with light, light-hearted, and enlightened.

Famous Quotes

Social Links