Humor

"There is little success where there is little laughter." ~ Andrew Carnegie

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age." ~ Lucille Ball

Something that seems funny when it happens to someone else, may not seem so funny when it happens to us. ~Aesop's Fables

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. ~ Langston Hughes

If you have to be in a soap opera, try not to get the worst role. ~ Boy George

To succeed in this world, it is not enough to be stupid, you must be well-mannered. ~ Voltaire

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~ Henny Youngman

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it. ~ Steve Wright

Humor is reason gone mad. ~ Groucho Marx

Never accept a drink from a urologist. ~ Erma Bombeck

It's important I surround myself with people who make me happy. ~ Adam Sandler

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. ~ George Eliot

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. ~ Dave Weinbaum

My mother buried three husbands... and two of them were only napping.  ~ Rita Rudner

I want to help people, give hope to all. Humor is the foundation of our lives. ~ Terry Bradshaw

Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life. ~ Joseph Addison

A sense of humor judges one's actions and the actions of others from a wider reference. It pardons shortcomings, it consoles failure. ~ Thornton Wilder

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. ~ Steve Martin

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. ~ Bob Hope

Humor cleanses the heart and keeps it good. ~ Alfred Paster

Groan and forget it. ~ Jessamyn West

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money. ~ Arthur Miller

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up to minute count of gun related crimes in New York. Some goofball is going to shoot someone just to see the numbers move. ~ David Letterman

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. ~ E.B. White

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig.  How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? ~ Frank Moore Colby

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there." ~ Will Smith

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. ~ Romain Gary

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself. ~ Charles M. Schultz

If a girl doesn't have a sense of humor, then what would you have to talk about? ~ Josh Hartnett, Teen People, 2003

Comedy holds the greatest risk for an actor, and laughter is the reward. ~ Cary Grant

"Every joke is a tiny revolution. ~ George Orwell

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. ~ Jackie Gleason

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I do not want to go there. ~ Martin Luther

Be amusing; never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. ~ Lord Byron

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.  ~ Victor Hugo

I think laughter may be a form of courage As humans we sometimes stand tall and look into the sun and laugh, and I think we are never more brave than when we do that. ~ Linda Ellerbee

I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes. ~ Sara Teasdale

Wear your wit as a shield, not as a dagger. ~ American Proverb

Laughter is a part of the human survival kit. ~ David Nathan

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~ Jean Houston

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs -- jolted by every pebble in the road. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

A clown is a poet in action ~ Henry Miller

The burden of the self is lightened when I laugh at myself. ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he done something about this?' ~ Jimmy Fallon