Rantings
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
It's not hard to tell we was poor, when you saw the toilet paper
dryin' on the clothesline. - George Lindsey
What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive. - Irv Kupcinet
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must
be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette
If you'd been where I'd been, if you'd seen the things I'd seen!, you,you'd be me. Or someone following me around. - Alan Parker
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because I know I'm not dumb, and I also know that I'm not blonde.- Dolly Parton
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma. - Unknown
All I'm saying is that you're deluded, pathetic, and squirrels use your
head to store chestnuts for the cold winter months in. - Pinback,
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. - George Burns
We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
- Dan Quayle
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. - Emo Phillips
There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for. - Fred Hoyle
They all laughed at Albert Einstein. They all laughed at Columbus. Unfortunately, they also all laughed at Bozo the Clown. - Carl Sagan
A wonderful rant on the fundamental importance of having both a sense of humor and the ability to shout back.- Kurt Vonnegut
I'd just like to say that of all the people I've ever known,
you are one of them. - Unknown
The Universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house. - Woody Allen
You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does. - P.J. ORourke
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
- Dave Barry
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
You can at least teach a dingo to fetch. The problem is, it can take
years to teach it the difference between a baby and a stick.
- Kerry Cue
You don't change the way people think by changing what they say. You change the way people think with HEADLESS CHARRED BODIES FLYING THROUGH THE AIR. BLOOD! FLAMES! HELLFIRE AND DAMNATION!. - Alastair J. R. Young
It's true, no man is an island, but if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie 'em together, they make a pretty good raft. - Bug Eyed Ear
Main cause of death for hummingbirds: Crashing ass-first into trees.
- Unknown
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe. - Frank Rizzo