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Trans
The most poignant quotes
What the rich and famous and wise said
Thoughtful and attentive words to contenplate learn from

Note: Throughout history the rich, famous and wise have said things that have been recorded in the form of quotes. It is the study of these quotes that give insight into life.

Funny Quotes
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. - Marty Feldman
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants! - Anonymous
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.- Paul Ehrlich
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobol
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. - Les Dawson
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. - Russell Baker
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones. - Mike Barfield
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.- Stephen Leacock
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off." Johnny Carson
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
Television: A medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are. - Matt Lauer
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett
I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb. - Freddie Starr
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. - Peter O'Toole
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn
There are lies, damned lies and statistics. - Mark Twain
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex. - Edgar Wallace
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.- Wes Smith
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. - Steven Wright
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.- Desmond Morris

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