Lily Tomlin ( 1939 ~ )
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat.
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
When we talk to God we are praying; when God talks to us, we are schizophrenic.
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
We're all in this alone.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.